There’s an old adage that says we have three types of friendships in life; friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime. But if you feel that any of your friendships are causing more harm than good, it might be time to re-think these relationships.
Friendships can make you feel great, especially when everything else is falling apart in your life. There is nothing better to get on the phone and tell your bestie about how bad your day has been, how sick you are of having no me time or how you wish your life could be as perfect as Meghan and Harry. No judgements and many sympathetic noises come from the end of the phone. However if your friendships are more hard work than smooth sailing, there might be a number of reasons why it might be time to say goodbye.
- Is it a two way street or a one way road?
Do you find yourself putting in more effort than the other person when it comes to catching up, touching base or checking in? Are the invitations one sided and you find those friendships accepting more invitations than returning the invite? Friendships are a two-way street and shouldn’t be a job to maintain the friendship. Some people are happy to organise everything but if you are like me, you need friendships to be a two-way street where the invites are coming in as fast as they are going out. A walk, a movie, a coffee or a girls night out…it’s not hard maintain contact if they want the friendship. It’s all about give and take….not just take.
- That was then….this is now
Friendships can change over time and you may find that the one thing you had in common may no longer be there. School friendships are created at a time when school was the common denominator. Interests, views and opinions change as you get older so the one thing bonding you both may no longer be there.
- It’s not you…it’s me
Or is it…It’s not actually about you….it’s all about me!
Do you have a friendship where you don’t get a look in edgewise because the whole conversation revolves around them? These friendships tend to be tedious and draining and can suck the life right out of you. Social media is usually a foe to these friends as they use it as a billboard to promote everything “great” happening in their life. But is a real?
- Friends for a season?
People are thrown together all the time in various situations like work, school and sporting communities. You might click at the start but over time you see that perhaps you don’t have as much in common as you thought. Different beliefs, values, views can get in the way of forming a good connection. Someone that is constantly disagreeing with you on every level makes you question how friend-compatible you really are.
Adult friendships can be hard to maintain and you may not click with everyone you meet, and that’s okay. But if the friendship proves too hard and makes you feel like you are doing all the chasing, you feel taken for granted or if it doesn’t feel right…it may be time to take a break and reflect on how this friendship benefits your life!
Friendships come and go but true friends see it to the end…no matter the hurdles you face along the way.