Mum Squads (noun): a group of close friends that give advice, listen to your venting about the husband and kids and nod in appreciation, offers support when you look frazzled, lends a shoulder to cry on, knows the value of wine, and compliments your appearance even if you haven’t slept for days, piled on the weight and haven’t brushed your hair for weeks!
During different stages of your life you may have gained and lost friendships along the way. There is that old saying. ‘We have three types of friends in life. Friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime.’ But as your life changes, so will your circle of friends.
Many friendships are formed when their situation changes and when women become mothers, many tend to seek other mothers who are in the same situation as them and can identify with. Let’s face it….when we first have kids, there is A LOT of kid talk. Nappies, breastfeeding, sleepless nights and so on and so on. How many women without kids want to hear about constant kid talk if they are without child/ren?
Now let me clarify that many childless and with child friendships have survived the test of time. Sex and the City girls, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are the epitome of a girl squad.
The girls nights out, breakfast catch ups, the discussions about their latest conquests or break ups all weld this group of savvy women together like glue. But when Miranda falls pregnant and has her first child, the group dynamic discussion changes. Miranda is clearly struggling as a new mum which the group, especially Samantha find it hard to cope with. But who else has Miranda to turn to? This is her girl squad and the friendship shouldn’t change even if her circumstance has.
Carrie encourages Samantha to acknowledge that Miranda is now a mother and to her surprise, Samantha not only offers up her hair appointment with a top hair stylist but also offers to babysit Brady for the time she is away. This completely throws Samantha out of her comfort zone but shows the dedication and loyalty she has to her friend. The dynamics and conversation may change, but the girl squad friendship is as strong as ever.
This doesn’t always happen though and as dynamics change as children are added to groups, some friendships feel alienated and may end up leaving the group. Mums are like magnets, they tend to be attracted to mums in the same situation as them.
The Mum Squad friendships are solid and are an essential part of motherhood, especially if the children form friendships too. A bond is formed which is incredibly essential for well being as these are the women who know exactly what you are going through. They get it!
They know the frustration of not being able to poop without an audience, they know the feeling of wanting to walk out of the house when the kids are fighting and leave them to it, they understand that you sometimes look dishevelled and resemble a yeti as you often don’t find the time to visit your local beautician and they sympathise every time you feel you like things are getting on top of you. Mum Squads just get it and no way would you see any judgement from them because they are going through exactly the same experiences.
Unfortunately husbands and partners don’t have the same ability to empathise with our version of events as it’s not often kids are banging on the door when they are using the toilet or showering, or being interrupted whilst they sip on their coffee or being asked lots of questions when they were about to sit down with a good book.
This is why Mum Squads are essential. Your daily
whinge catch up session with your mum friends is vital for your health and well being. There is that old saying, a problem shared is a problem halved and having a good friendship network allows you to vent your frustrations where they are not being heard or understood elsewhere.